Finding the Right Therapist Can Change Everything
I was at an event yesterday promoting mental health, and one thing I heard over and over was:
"I love my therapist."
Or...
"When you find the right therapist, it's amazing."
I couldn't agree more. Years ago, I had a therapist I absolutely loved. She helped me through some difficult times, and I genuinely looked forward to seeing her. Then I moved. Unfortunately, she wasn't licensed in the state I was moving to, so I had to stop seeing her. I was devastated—not because I thought I'd never find another therapist, but because I had found someone who truly understood me. We had built trust, and that relationship mattered.
That's why I believe finding the right therapist is so important.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say, "I had a really bad experience with a therapist once, so I stopped going." That always makes me sad. Not because I think every therapist is the right therapist for every person, but because someone recognized they needed help and then gave up after one painful experience. Sometimes it's even after two or three. Does that automatically mean those therapists were "bad"? Not necessarily. Sometimes it simply wasn't the right fit.
Therapists have different personalities, communication styles, approaches, and areas of expertise. Just like we don't connect equally well with every teacher, doctor, or friend we meet, we won't connect equally well with every therapist. And that's okay.
One thing I especially love is working with people who have never been to therapy before. I know I have the opportunity to provide a safe, healthy space where they can begin sharing their story. We may discover that another therapist would ultimately be a better fit, and that's okay too. What's important to me is that their first experience doesn't make them afraid to seek help again.
Relationships matter. In fact, I believe the relationship between therapist and client is one of the most important parts of therapy. Research consistently shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes. If you don't feel comfortable, understood, or safe, it's much harder to open up about the things that brought you there in the first place.
The connection doesn't have to be perfect, but it does need to feel genuine. So, if you've had a bad experience in therapy, please don't assume therapy isn't for you. Sometimes finding the right therapist is a lot like finding the right pair of shoes. The first pair you try on might not fit. That doesn't mean shoes aren't for you, it just means you haven't found the right pair yet.
Keep looking.
Everyone deserves a place where they feel heard, understood, and accepted. When you find the right therapist, therapy can become one of the most meaningful investments you make in yourself.
Don't settle for believing therapy doesn't work. Sometimes, you just haven't met the right therapist yet.